Live by the compass, not by the clock.

So much has happened between my last post and now.  Both of my parents had some significant health challenges.  My mom had a stroke and a week later my dad passed away.  For someone like me who prides themselves on being strong, poised, and able to handle difficult situations, this felt like an out of body experience.  No number of past experiences can prepare you for the emotional roller coaster of losing a loved one and/or seeing a loved one in a compromised health situation that you cannot do anything to help.  I felt helpless and left to meander through my own thoughts of should’ve, would’ve, could’ve. Fortunately, my mom is on the road to recover but, the questions still burned my mind.   Did I spend enough time? Did I make enough time? Why this time? What times will they miss? When would have been the right time?  The answers to these questions are just a sobering reminder that we all know…. We cannot control time.  

Our lives, however, have been conditioned to celebrate using time milestones. Birthdays, anniversaries, reunions, time on our jobs, etc.  Routinely, when checking my social media accounts, I check to see whose birthday it is so that can send them a “HBD” post. Facebook even commemorates how long you’ve been “Facebook friends” with someone. My dad was 78 when he passed away. I had him for 48 years of my life and somehow that still didn’t feel like enough time.  Time by itself is an inaccurate measure of your life because it lacks context. A clock is objective.  It tells you the current time, how much time has elapsed, and sometimes how much time you have left.  No matter how you turn or move, the clock says the same thing. A clock cannot tell you what you’ve done with or during that time.  What are you doing with the time you have?

A compass is a device that determines direction utilizing a magnetic needle or group of needles turning freely on a pivot and pointing towards the magnetic north.  The magnetic north can also be referred to as “True North.”  In our lives, the pursuit of our true purpose is our ultimate “True North.” As we step through life there is something inspirational about people who discover their purpose and walk in it.  Their steps are intentional, meaningful, and impactful especially in their relationships. It doesn’t matter how many steps they’ve taken or how big the steps are, it’s the fact that the steps are heading towards their purpose (True North).  What direction are you heading? 

When I think about my dad, my first thought is to wish for more time but, I instantly regret that thought.  I regret it because I know that reality says that I don’t control the clock. My next thoughts are to the many memories we shared and the feeling that in those moments we were heading in the same direction.  It wasn’t so much about how much time but, just that we made the most of our time.  

My dad called me as I was driving back home from a trip.  He knew I would be passing through and asked if I could stop by to help him with an emergency project.  He described to me that a portion of his ceiling had a hole in it, and you could see all the way to the rafters in the roof. I had a 10-hour drive ahead of me and my time was tight.  I sighed because I was rushing and trying to get back to 800 hundred things I needed to do at home.  When I walked in his house my mouth dropped.  Somehow the entire ceiling in his living room had completely caved in.  What I thought was going to be a 30-minute patch job turned into a 3-hour temporary tarp job until his insurance adjuster could come.  It turned into one of my most memorable times with my dad.  I laugh now thinking about it.  Live by the compass, not by the clock!